Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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