She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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