Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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