Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
