At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
