sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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