just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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