He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize