It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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