Banned from zoo.
Again?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
