Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
