ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
