A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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