I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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