K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
