I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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