I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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