I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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