Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize