As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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