There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
