Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
