i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
