God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He passed out mid-signature
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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