when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
