xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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