I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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