I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
