Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
