About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
