Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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