we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
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I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
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Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.