i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
