So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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