She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
