just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
