is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
