there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
As shirtless as possible
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
