I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
