dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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