He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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