I'm going to jail i love you
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
