hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
