That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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