she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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