She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize