He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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