is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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