going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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