Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
