he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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