There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
