I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
